is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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