Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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