I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
