I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
