The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
