she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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