well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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