its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
