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oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
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