the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...