Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.