So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
