take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now