it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.