Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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