Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
