Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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