Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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