Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
