Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
