How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
