sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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