either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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