is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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