Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
