I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
