bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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