she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
