I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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