I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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