I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
