just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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