I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
