im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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