We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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