i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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