Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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