I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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