the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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