First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
