you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
