I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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