Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
