"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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