I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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