Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
