His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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