he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
When are your genitals available?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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