I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I would ride that face into the sunset
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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