there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
