Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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