I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
