I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
