On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
