im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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