I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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