Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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