I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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