All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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