I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
