how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
did you just send me my own nude
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
