i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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