eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
