Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
